Fighting the Darkness

2013-04-21 04.53.41Last week I felt like I was getting beaten against the rocks. For whatever reasons, the week was hard on me emotionally and it felt like surviving was all I could do. As I mentioned in my last post, sometimes that is a good enough goal to reach. Forget self-actualization for the week! Let me just get by.

The thing that sometimes surprises people is that, as a highly trained psychologist and counselor, I can make bad choices just as easy as anyone else. Knowing what is good for you and what is bad for you is not enough. It is a good start, but you have to find a way to actually get yourself to do the good things and resist the bad. 

A big one for me was noticing how negative thinking was creeping in through the cracks in my sanity.When I could catch myself, I would remember that I do not have to pay attention to those thoughts. I can just let them drift away like the worthless debris that they are.

I also engaged in distraction: mainly reading and TV. I kept up with my yoga, a true life-saver, and my husband and dogs helped me get outdoors for walks and a hike. I forced myself to take my vitamins and supplements and eat fairly healthy.

OK. I also slept a lot, drank a little alcohol, and ate chocolate. BUT, I didn’t beat myself up for doing so. I did recognized that depression was starting to sneak back into my life. I have struggled with depression much of my life, but have been depression free for months. More than anything, I do not want to go there again.

I made the decision to change my environment when I start feeling depressed. Instead of the long nap I crave, I will go outside, meditate, or clean something up in my always untidy house. I encourage you to do the same. Fight the darkness! Turn on the lights however you can. Call a good friend. Go to a movie. Put on dancing music. Just keep fighting. I promise you I will.

 

san diego

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